The Annual Seasonally-Obligated ‘Give Thanks’ Speech
If we had to give everything back, if the universal plan demanded us to hand over all possessions and start again bare and raw, I would have a very under-impressive load to turn in. What we would be left with, in our stripped down, essential state, is the coveted internal real estate we should perpetually be striving to cultivate. To give and receive from this place, there is no better exchange. All else is superfluous, although possibly entertaining. As a naked, unencumbered soul, give thanks, then, for how well you can fill the world with nothing but you. The caveat to this spiritual nudity is the quick understanding that if you haven’t taken care of yourself, if you don’t have the respect for yourself to care about the condition of your system, you greatly limit your choices, possibilities and gifts.
Naked in front of God, Buddha, Posieden or Pan, give thanks for the better choices you’ve made and embrace wisdom for choices not yet made.
Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!! Eat well, be well, do well!!
Here’s a T-Day workout for those of you sick bastards who will be joining me in the gym Thursday morning:
It has been scientifically proven through numerous studies involving thousands of now-dead inmates that the absolute best thing to do when you’re about to embark on a long weekend involving a big decapitated bird and too much football is to max out on an overhead lift. The physiology behind it is too complicated to explain so just accept it as absolute truth.
Jerk Max Day. C’mon, you’re about to eat too much and then pass out in front of the TV while your nieces play Wii. Let’s celebrate this near future by blasting up as much weight as possible overhead.
Jerk recovery. Not done yet. Throw the pins in the cage pretty high, and load a heavy bar on it. Get under the bar in a lunge or squat, arms fully locked out and holding tight. Then stand up. If this isn’t a good 40-100 pounds heavier than your jerk max, then stop right now and just staple the fucking turkey to your face.
Alternating KB snatches: 8 each arm
Alternating KB cleans: 8 each arm
Alternating KB presses: 8 each arm
Alternating KB windmills (oh yeah, these suck by this point): 8 each side
Sled drag: 100 feet, heavy.
Got 3 rounds in ya? Give thanks.