The Magic of Exchanging Power.

Updated: Aug 23

I can't imagine what you think of me. Should I? Although I have only peripheral control of your perception of me, it's not my job to manipulate you. And vice versa. More about that in a bit. Although I can't imagine what you think of me, I sort of want to try, especially after I tell you this antidote about the origins of my initial musings about the concept of power exchange. It all began at a club in San Francisco. At this point in life, I was already past the age of "clubbing,' where my dot on nightlife chronology had me slightly too young for the early 80s cocaine scene, and slightly too old for the 90s ecstasy scene. But this wasn't that type of club. In fact the age demographic of this club was really hard to pin down. But I'm guessing their target audience wasn't an age, but a type.

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What clubbing means to me these days.

The club was actually called Power Exchange. And although one of its four stories had a dance floor, there was no one dancing on it. The DJ had either the best or worst job in the world. When you spin music at a sex club, you apparently have an often empty dance floor. On a related topic, I couldn't tell you what the drug profile here was either. I wasn't much of a participant of any of the club's possibilities. I was not really who the club was aimed at. I was the Three S's: Single, Straight, and Sober. That made for a night of being in contemplation about the meaning of the club name rather than an active indulger. The old idiom of dance with the one who brung ya had no meaning here either, as my bi-/transvestite friend only dragged me along for a discount at the door ("couples" got half price). Our paths didn't cross again until it was time to go. Thankfully. When he recapped his evening adventures to me on the drive home, I was relieved to not have witnessed any of that in person. He happiness was important. Me having a front row seat to it was not. Apparently he exchanged a lot of power that night. Good for him. For most of the night, I sat in the bar, nursing a remarkably well-priced glass of water. Even that was an experience, but I'll reserve details for another time (or never, if you prefer). The idea of how exchanging power could manifest in our daily lives beyond a den of themed copulation had my attention... most of the time.

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Did it take a sec to guess what I was doing here?

Power exchange. That's a great summary of what living is. Understanding the balance between when to let it happen vs. when to make it happen. Sometimes being the noun in the scenario has the same power as being the verb. Often, to Become, you have to just Be. Letting go of power can bring you back to it. What?

What might get in your way of being a beginner? Maybe nothing. Perhaps you embrace new opportunities whenever they present themselves with the glee of an excited child. Cool. Many of us, however, suffer from craving distractions rather than lessons. Our quest for the shiny new thing is not the wonder lust of a beginner. It's simply upgrading our toys, wanting a polished new version of what we're already comfortable with. Being a beginner is entirely different. It's the power exchange of finding joy in being uncomfortable, with the payout of new lessons and new experiences. This is not to be mistaken for the human condition of suffering for a reward, but I bet that model was loosely based on the beginner's journey. What is missing from the suffer-towards-reward model, though, is an actual correlation between the suffering and the reward. We'll put up with a lot if there's a prize, but the struggle and the prize are often arbitrarily connected, like a game show where you must struggle through a series of bizarre challenges to win a living room furniture set. See, the beginner would find joy in learning to build that furniture set, where the lessons are greater than just the outcome of a comfy couch (no disrespect to the glory of comfy couches, however). In other words, being a beginner is not suffering to folks who understand that it's simply a power exchange. Meanwhile, following the suffering-towards-reward model fails to have much exchange. That path means servitude at every stage, including the final one, where the reward is still the master. At the beginning of this weird rant (thanks for making it this far!) I mentioned that it was not my job to manipulate you, or vice versa. It is, however, my job to be a guide to anyone who'd like to increase their understanding of strength and movement. As your Sherpa of Fantastic Flux, it behooves me to present many opportunities of being a beginner, since my experience has provided that concept as the most enjoyable path to offer constant empowering reward, not just a payout of more bondage (not the fun kind).


Join me in being an expert beginner. No, it doesn't require going clubbing with me. As you can probably tell, that's not where my skills lie.

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